Open Letter to the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

Dear President Monson,

I’m writing today to thank you for the recent change in policy regarding homosexuals.

The new policy states that LGBT individuals are apostates.

It bars the children of homosexuals from receiving church ordinances.

It prevents them from entering into the church until they are 18 years of age, they no longer live with their parents, and they are willing to condemn same sex marriage.

Thank you for putting this policy into place.

You see, I was confused there for a couple of years.

Way back in 2008, when you were pouring huge amounts of members’ tithing into backing Proposition 8 in California, I said to myself, “This is a perfect example of what the LDS church represents.”

Then Prop 8 was overturned. With a new election cycle, it became obvious that Mitt Romney would be the GOP candidate.

Here at last was another chance at the political power Mormons have craved since the church’s inception.

This is where things got confusing for me.

Suddenly the church was accepting homosexuals, albeit with a stipulation of celibacy.

Openly homosexual members were paraded around to firesides and stake conferences to talk about how accepting and loving the church has been to them.

No longer was the church forcing the horrible practice of “aversion” therapy on its gay members.

No longer was straight marriage and prayer touted as the “cure” to homosexuality.

What an exciting time it must have been for LGBT people of the Mormon faith!

It must have seemed, for a brief moment, that the church was finally starting to progress toward inclusion.

Romney lost the election. Still, for the gay members of the church, they had the sweet relief of no longer having to live in the closet. Of being openly accepted for who they were.

It was very confusing for me. Was this the church I was raised in?

The church that so condemned homosexuality that I witnessed friends endure brutal bullying from the same righteous members who, in Christlike holiness, sat in sacrament meeting taking bread and water?

The church that, as recently as the 1990s, warned members that homosexuality was a disease?

The church that forced cruel and physically painful therapies on homosexual members?

President Monson, your decision to exclude children whose parents are in loving, healthy, stable homosexual marriages, affirmed for me the decision I made when I was 14 years old: to have nothing more to do with your church’s bigotry.

It’s difficult for non-members to understand the impact your policy will have on families within the church.

The church is a pervasive presence for its members.

High schoolers attend seminary daily.

Members attend services or activities several times per week.

Members are “called of God” to serve the church in volunteer positions.

Basic ordinances, like naming of infants (similar to a Christening), baptism, confirmation, the laying on of hands, receiving the priesthood, and temple endowments, are essential within church doctrine for a member to attain the highest kingdom of glory in the afterlife.

With this new policy, gay church members and their children are not just being cut off from a church.They are being cut off from their families, friends, communities, and, essentially, a tremendous part of their own identity as people of faith.

The church uses a highly coordinated communications plan to reinforce predetermined messaging in every aspect of its members’ lives: Sunday School lessons, Relief Society and Priesthood lessons, Young Men and Young Women achievement plans, firesides, conferences, seminary, news outlets, social media, and in home lessons known as Family Home Evening.

In this way, the church both implicitly and explicitly tells members what to read, listen to, watch, think, how to vote, and who to shun.

The most recent of their themes is: “Doubt your doubt before you doubt your faith.”

It’s a pretty way to say, “Don’t question your leaders.”

The church I was raised in taught members to explore their doubts.

We were admonished to “search, ponder, and pray.”


Church leaders must have figured out that too many people were doing just that: thinking for themselves and recognizing the church’s hypocrisy.

President Monson – I hope this new policy awakens millions of members to abandon your wrong and immoral doctrine.

I hope it becomes a sore that will fester and hurt your brand marketability for decades to come.

I hope that the thousands of active gay Mormons who you just slammed the door on, run as far away from your church as possible and never look back.

I hope too that these members know that there are places of love beyond the church. Places where they will be accepted and loved without judgement.

If love is wrong, I will be wrong.

For I would rather be wrong for the sake of compassion, than righteous in hatred and exclusion.

Thank you for giving me a reason to do what I should have done years ago.

I no longer wish to be formally affiliated with your church.

I am an apostate.

Remove me from your rolls.

Open Letter to the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

4 thoughts on “Open Letter to the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

  1. hermite2000 says:

    Hello Jessica,
    You may be misunderstanding this policy. Though I am imperfect and do not speak for the Church, I see this policy as a policy of love. Why would we ever baptize someone who does not have the permission or “blessing” from their parents, it just is not done. This is not new. This keeps families together, instead of creating an adversarial environment in the home, by pitting the child’s belief system against the parents, regardless of how those parents are situated. Also, religion is about faith and volunteerism and nothing compulsory. Come or go, we wish all to peruse what they feel is their path to happiness. But if we are members of a certain religion, should we not be held to the standards and tenants of that religion? The Gospel of Christ is for all mankind, and this policy allows for love to flourish and gives the power to parents to unite their family in whichever faith they wish to follow. Peace.


    1. Ruby says:

      Who is to say that these children do not have their parents blessing? What about the children of hetero divorce where one parent is gay/lesbian and fully supports child’s choice? I don’t see this as love.


    2. J Red says:

      Sorry, but you happen to be misinformed in your interpretation. I’ll focus on the rhetorical question: “Why would we ever baptize someone who does not have the permission or “blessing” from their parents, it just is not done.” If the kids in question do not have permission, it’s true that they Church wouldn’t baptize them and that would be the parent’s decision. However, that is not the case here. What is happening is that the Church is taking away the parents’ right to allow baptism and the child’s right to decide. The Church just said, sorry you can’t be baptized even if you and your parents approve because of one or more parent’s sin. Keep in mind that most worthy kids can get baptized with parental approval, even if the parents are drunks, inactive, abusive, members of other religions. My brother and I were baptized when I was a child. Our adult sister and grandmother were members so we had a support system, and my mother was an inactive Catholic who let us make our own decisions and my dad was non-religious. My parents were divorced and living with people they were not married to. If I applied your logic to my situation, I would not have been baptized, received, the priesthood, gone a mission, attended BYU, and was married in the temple. But maybe I should have been protected from that life?


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